Action!
by Little Masa-ouki
Summary: Tenchi and co try to create OAV3. Take 3 now Revised. Minor changes and two brand new Takes
1. Take 2

Disclaimer: The cast and concept of Tenchi Muyo are all mine! Blam  
Ayeka (steps out with a smoking .44 Magnum Ruger Super Redhawk in her   
hands.) Actually, we're property of Pioneer and AIC. So don't sue   
this poor man. (gestures at the bleeding corpse of the writer. He's   
got it bad enough as it is. (Looks down and sees some blood soaked  
cards.) Oh my! I'd better take care of this. Let's see. It says here  
to email all criticisms to lighthawkwings@masakishrine.com. And this  
card says it's dedicated to...Shin! Oh, wait. There's more writting  
under the blood. (wipes away the blood.) Ahh. It's dedicated to  
Shinobu. This is the first fanfic he's ever read, so have pity on him.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(Scene: The Masaki house. Tenchi has gathered all the others around  
for an announcement.)  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take one!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, I have decided to marry Ryoko.  
Ayeka: But what about me? I love you, Lord Tenchi.  
Tenchi: So? I don't give a rats ass what you think, bitch. *Blam!*   
Director: Cut! Cut! (Glares at Ayeka who is holding her smoking magnum) Ayeka! You're not supposed to shoot Tenchi. *Blam!* Or   
Ryoko. *Blam!* Or yourself!  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take two!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, well, only about five minutes of it, I   
have decided to marry Ayeka.  
Sasami: Shouldn't we be worried about Ryoko?  
Tenchi: Oh just ignore Ryoko. She'll be upset for awhile, but  
she'll get over it and be happy for us.  
Sasami: Then shouldn't we be worried about the fact that Ryoko is right  
behind you with a switchblade?  
Tenchi: What? (Ryoko proceeds to slash Tenchi's throat, leaving him  
slumped over, his life bleeding out onto the table.)  
Director: Cut!  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take three!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, I have decided to marry, under Juraian  
law, Haruna and Sakuya. *Blam! Blam!*  
Director Cut! Cut! Ayeka, you aren't supposed to shoot Haruna or  
Sakuya. *Boom* Ryoko! You are definitely NOT supposed to blow Tenchi  
up with a LAW rocket!  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take four!  
Tenchi: Ah! What a great idea, Ryoko. Eloping instead of getting  
pizza. Hi Ayeka! Um, what are you doing with that flame   
thrower? *Foom!*  
Sasami: (out of the room) Ayeka? Did they bring the pizza?  
Director: Cut!  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take five!  
Tenchi: I'm so glad I married you Ryoko.  
Sasami: Shouldn't we be worried about Ayeka?  
Tenchi: Ayeka? I haven't seen her around. She just kinda disappeared.  
Oh well. Who cares.  
Sasami: Shouldn't we at least be worried about the C4 she planted  
under the house.  
Tenchi: What? *Boom*  
Director: Cut!  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take six!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, I have decided to marry Kiyone *Blam!*  
Director: Cut! Ayeka!  
Ayeka: (who has drawn her magnum, but has yet to aim or fire) I didn't  
do it. (mutters) unfortunately  
(All turn to look at Kiyone)  
Kiyone: (smiling innocently and holding a smoking blaster) What?  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take seven!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, and a night of wild passion, I have   
decided to marry Sasami  
Ayeka: There he is officer.  
Tenchi: What's going on.  
Officer: This lady reported that you had sex with a minor.  
Tenchi: What? No! She's over 700 years old.  
Officer: Yeah, right. Save it for the courts, Pedo.  
Director: Cut! Ayeka!  
Ayeka: (flashes innocent eyes) What'd I do?  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take eight!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, I have decided to marry a girl I just  
met on the street. *Blam! Blam! Blam! Boom!*  
Director: Cut! (Stares at Ayeka holding her magnum, Mihoshi and Kiyone  
holding their blasters, and Ryoko holding her LAW rocket   
launcher, and sighs)  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take nine!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, I have decided to become a monk and  
swear off women. *Blam!*  
Director: Cut! Nobuyuki! You're not even supposed to be in this scene!  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take ten!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, I have decided to marry every girl  
in the series and-  
RYoko: (pulls her switchblade out from Tenchi's stomach) The hell I'm  
gonna share you with every bit part slut that shows up.  
Director: Cut!  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take eleven!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, I have decided to marry Ryoko. I'm  
sorry, Ayeka. I know this must hurt you, but it would hurt you  
and Ryoko even more if I kept on lying to myself and to you.  
Ayeka: I'll kill you all!  
Tenchi: Sheesh! Ayeka. Why are you acting like such a bitch?  
Ayeka: (Taken aback) I don't know. I think I should go. (runs off)  
Director: Cut! Tenchi!!!  
Tenchi: What? What'd I do?  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take twelve!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, I have decided to marry Washu.  
Washu: I'm so happy! Ryoko! Aren't you happy for your mommy?  
Ryoko: (aiming her LAW rocket launcher) Just stand right there and  
I'll be happy. *Boom!*  
Director: Cut!  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take thirteen!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, I have decided to marry both Ayeka  
and Ryoko *blam!* *boom!*  
AYeka: (lowering her gun.) Did he say...  
Ryoko: (lowering her rocket launcher) oops!  
Director: Cut! Goddamn it!  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take fourteen!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, I have decided not to marry for   
another twenty years, and another 3 series, thus ensuring that  
the series will never die.  
Ryoko: (fighting with Ayeka over her magnum) Give me the gun!  
Ayeka: No! It's my gun! I get to shoot him!  
RYoko: No fair! I'm outta rockets!  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take (yawm) fifteen  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, I have decided to marry-*blam!*  
Director: Cut! For the love of-  
  
Stagehand: ZZzzzzzzzzzz  
Tenchi: Um  
Director: (nerve-wracked and stressed out) Just go!  
Tenchi: After much deliberation, I have decided to marry, well, Um,  
that is...I'll, um...Aggh! I can't do it! (Tenchi runs over   
to Ayeka, seizes the magnum.) *blam!* (the director drops to   
the floor. Tenchi proceeds to drop the gun and jump out the   
window.)  
Ayeka: (goes to the window and watches Tenchi run over the horizon) My!  
How quickly he runs.  
Ryoko: So I guess the show's canceled?  
Ayeka: Apparently.  
Ryoko: Wanna catch a movie?  
Ayeka: Okay, come on Sasami  
Sasami: Coming.  
(The three leave. Mihoshi, Washu, and Kiyone start arguing over who's  
going to tell the producer.) 


	2. Take 3

Disclaimer:  
Ayeka: Why do I have to do it?  
Ryoko: Because you shot the author last time!  
Ayeka: Alright. Tenchi and the rest of the cast are property of AIC and Pioneer. The author is just  
using them and claims no...do I have to do this? He's dead!  
Tenchi: Ayeka...  
Ayeka: Fine! Claims no ownership of the cast. So please don't sue him, or his next of kin. The   
authors who show up in this fic are with concent and are property of no man.   
Sasami: Don't forget to mention that two new scenes have been added as well as some modifications to  
the older ones.  
Ayeka: Of course, of course. Many thanks to IrrCapT, who helped A LOT, with the creation of this, as   
did Ruroni Ken-ouki. This fic satyrizes various common fic concepts, as well as several distinct and   
well known fics. The author likes one of these fics. So remember, when you want to write an angry   
letter to him, flaming him for making fun of your favorite fic, that's his favorite too. Hey, wait a   
minute...How can he be writing this if he's dead?  
Director: (enters in a wheel chair. He is paralyzed from the waist down and in full kevlar armor) Cut!  
  
Take 3  
  
(Scene: The Masaki house. Tenchi has gathered all the others around for an announcement.)  
Stagehand: Tenchi's decision! Take...um...which one are we on?  
Director: Sixteen!  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision! Take Sixteen!  
Ryoko: Hi Tenchi! (hugs Tenchi)  
Ayeka: (in a high, nasal, nagging voice) You leave him alone! Wait, where's my inhaler. (takes breath  
from inhaler, continues in normal voice.) There, that's better. Now leave him alone, demon-whore!  
Tenchi: Oh shut up bitch!  
Ryoko: Yeah, your just a whiney princess who can't deal with the fact that she's lost.  
Tenchi: Yeah, and I can't even get it up for you. I love you, Ryoko. (Kisses Ryoko passionately.)  
Ayeka: (smiles. Kiss continues for several minutes.)  
Sasami: Why are you smiling Ayeka?  
Ayeka: I read the script, so...(holds up a bottle of super glue)...I glued their lips together.  
Tenchi and Ryoko: Mrmnrphrpmrh  
Kiyone: Shouldn't you be discouraging this kind of thing?  
Ayeka: Well, yes, except this gives me a nice clean shot to take them both out. (Takes out a .50   
Desert Eagle, lines up a shot, and shots a bullet straight through the lovely couples' heads.)  
Director: Cut! Damnit! (groans) Not this again.  
  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's decision! Um, excuse me, what's my motivation?  
Director: We're paying you.  
Stagehand: Oh, alright. (Continues in a deep dramatic voice) Tenchi's decision! Take seventeen!  
Tenchi: Ayeka? Ryoko? What's going on?  
Ayeka: Well, since it's obviously going to take us forever to get anywhere with you, we've decided to  
hire somebody to hit you over the head with a clue. (signals, and a large man in GP uniform, sporting   
green hair and weilding a sturdy 2x4 with the word "clue" written in blue magic marker on the side.)  
Seion: Let's do this!  
Ryoko: (cheerfully) Kiyone suggested him!  
Director: Cut! Who the hell is this guy?!  
Seion: I'm Kiyone's brother. (towers over him) You got a problem with that?  
Director: N-n-no, not at all, but could you please just sit down and watch.  
Seion: oh, alright. Just one thing first. (Turns and slams Tenchi in the head with the 2x4, knocking  
him to the ground.) Okay. (Cheerfully walks offstage)  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision! Take eighteen. (softly) Now, if I can just remove Tenchi-  
Director: What are you saying?  
Stagehand: What? I'm not in thought voice-over mode?  
Director: No, only ACTORS can do that.  
Stagehand: Blast! Foiled again!  
(Scene: Crystaline waters of the Pacific ocean. Tenchi and Ryoko are swimming in the waters. A man  
in a gray Trenchcoat enters via jetski)  
Director: (groans) What now?  
Davner: We've replaced Tenchi's funloving dolphins, with killer, hungry, man-eating sharks. Let's see  
if they can tell the difference.  
Tenchi: Ahh! Help! Sharks! Sharks!  
Ryoko: (stares down at the bloody mass where her legs used to be.) Gee! Wish I hadn't had Washu shut   
down all my powers.  
Director: Cut! Who the hell are you!  
Davner: (Bond voice) Mollidon. Davner Molli-  
Director: I don't care. Just sit down and shut up.  
Davner: (sits next to Seion) Hi Seion.  
Seion: Hey, Davner. (Pulls out a flask of Amanese Rum) Wanna shot?  
  
Stagehand: (enters in Tenchi's workclothes) Tenchi's decision! Take nineteen!  
Director: Hold on! Where's the REAL Tenchi?  
Stagehand: I'm Tenchi!  
Tenchi: (comes bounding in tied and gagged, in his underwear.) Mph pmphpm!  
Ryoko: (glomps Tenchi) Ohh! You got me a present!  
Director: No! Cut him free and give him back his clothes. He's not on for a couple minutes. And  
keep the camera's rolling. We'll edit this part later.  
(scene: Washu's lab. Washu is mysteriously absent, and Mihoshi is mysteriously present.)  
Mihoshi: (In really stupid, airhead, Usagi voice) Oohh! Pretty button...  
Seion: I gotta stop this.  
Director: I don't think so! (Takes out a taser and drops Seion)  
Seion: (In really stupid, airhead, Usagi voice) Ohh! Pretty birdies...  
Mihoshi: (In baby Plucky Duck voice) I push da button! (Pushes the button, there's a blinding light.)  
(Scene: Tendo Family Dojo, backyard pond. Tenchi is dropped unceremoniously into the pond.)  
Tenchi: (coughing) What? Where am I?  
Ranma: (Pulls Tenchi out of the pond.) Hi. I'm Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes-*thup* (Ranma's  
head explodes)  
Tenchi: Oh shi-*thup* (Tenchi's head explodes.)  
Genma: (In panda form holds up sign reading "What's going on here?" which is immediately shot. He   
replaces it with one saying "I'm leaving." and exits.)  
Director: Cut! What the hell happened? (Looks over to see a big man with billowing robes,   
glowing eyes, white hair and beard, and a Walther WA2000 sniper rifle)  
K'thardin: He said anything goes.  
Director: Why are you here?  
K'thardin: I go where I am needed.  
Director: Oh just sit down and be quiet.  
K'thardin: Alright.  
Mihoshi: Hey! Who's been tampering with my medication?  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's decision! Take twenty (steps back) Now to deploy my plan.  
Director: I don't think so! (takes out taser and drops the stagehand)  
Stagehand: (In really stupid, airhead, Usagi voice) Oohh! Pretty scripts...  
(Scene: Backwoods. Ryoko is walking home from buying sake, large sake jug on her back.)  
Ryoko: Ahh this is the life-Alright! Show yourself. (enter from the shadows a scantily clad woman,  
with ridiculous measurements, and blinding blue battle aura.)  
Sarah: I am Sarah Invincible, and I will kill you to showcase just how powerful I am.  
Ryoko: We'll see about tha-  
Sarah: Northern Longblade Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu Succession Technique: Chi Chi Shinkuu Kyoken Bagder   
Kame-hame-Slave revised!!! (Fires a blinding supernova of energy incinerating Ryoko, and half the   
forest.)  
Tenchi: (runs in from the side) What the hell?  
Sarah: I have proven my power to you!  
Tenchi: (stares blankly for a moment) YOU F*CKING IDIOT! I don't care about power level! All we do  
for the most part is hang around and do chores and stuff! (flips up a Winchester scattergun, aimed  
point blank at her nose) I DO, however, care that you just killed one of my best friends.  
Sarah: But wait! Aren't we supposed to fall in l-*blam!*  
Tenchi: We'll you're gonna fall, but not in love.  
Director: Cut!   
  
(A young man with blonde hair and a black trench coat bungee cords from the skylight)  
Cavis: I'm here to stop the insanity!  
Director: What are you talking about?  
Cavis: This shameless SI! (takes out two Luger pistols and looks around) Um, where is she?  
Davner: (deadpan) You're late, Cavis. The scene's already over.  
Cavis: You said two forty-five.  
Davner: Your watch is slow.  
Director: Now sit down and shut up, so I can keep an eye on you.  
Cavis: And what if I don't?  
Director: (points to Seion's twitching body) That.  
Cavis: Move over Davner.  
Seion: Ooh, Mihoshi...I love it when you take out the hot oil...  
Cavis: (whispers to Davner) So what are we doing?  
Davner: (Still deadpan) We are watching helplessly as the nightmare unfolds before our very eyes.  
Cavis: What?  
Davner: (Takes Seion's flask of Amanese rum and takes a shot.) You'll see.  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision! Take Twenty one! I've got my Tarot cards!  
Director: We hired someone else.  
Stagehand: But...but...I've got tarot cards!  
Director: Do you even know how to read tarot cards?  
Stagehand: No. Can he?  
Director: Well I don't think so. But we're still not using you!  
Stagehand: Damnit! (throws down cards)  
(Scene: Cliffside. Washu is typing on her computer. She is looking very frazzled.)  
Washu: Damnit! I'm so close! Why can't I figure out this equation?! (Enter a man in a suit composed   
of a horrible blend of various religious symbols from many different cultures and religions.)  
Sean: I am Sean Incredible, a.k.a. Occult!  
Ryoko and Ayeka: (in Shaft background singer voices) Occult!  
Davner: (In Barry White voice) Damn straight!  
Cavis: Who's the baddist S.I. in fanfiction?  
Ryoko and Ayeka: (in Shaft background singer voices) Occult!  
Sean: Let me see. Ahh, you just need to add one here and it all makes sense.  
Washu: (hearts in eyes) Ohh! Thank you. (grabs him and starts kissing him passionately.)  
Everybody save Washu and Sean (and that includes the Director and Stagehand): BUCKET!  
Washu: Oh! Sean! Take me! Take me now!  
EsWaS(atitDaS): Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
Davner: Mommy says that monsters aren't real, but they are real, aren't they?  
Cavis: Yes, and his name is Sean Invinible A.K.A. Occult! (Waits for the backgound sining) Um, guys?  
Ayeka: I need a bigger bucket!  
Washu: Hey, I'm right over here! What's that?! (A sparkle appears in the sky. As it grows bigger,  
it resolves into a landing pod. It hurtles closer and closer to the cliffside.) Oh Sean! Save me!  
Sean: Don't worry, I'll stop it. Moon! (holds up the Star card)  
Ryoko: Where do you find these people?  
Director: I really need to talk to casting.  
Sean: Um let's see. Death, Sun, Death, King of blades, Death, Windie, Death, Merfolk of Pearl Trident,  
Death, Rules to five card poker, Death, a card with wavey lines on it, death, Shinto Warding card,  
Death, Babe Ruth Rookie Card, (Tenchi steals said card), Death, Hanged Man, Devil, Falling Tower, Death,  
Death, Death. Um, this isn't a good sign.  
Tenchi: Yes! Burn baby! (Cheers as the pod crashes into ground, throwing up a ton of dust.)  
EsWaS(atitDaS): Yay! (Dust clears with pod covering the edge of the cliff.) They're dead!  
Washu: (draging Sean up onto the top of the pod) We survived!  
EsWaS(atitDaS): Awww!  
IrrCapT: (opens the hatch of the pod, knocking Washu and Sean over the edge.) 'lo all!  
EsWaS(atitDaS): Yeah!  
IrrCapT: Why are you cheering?  
Mihsohi: Because you knocked them off the cliff.  
IrrCapT: I did?  
Kiyone: But will we ever know if he did it on purpose?  
Nobuyuki: Or was it luck?  
Katsuhito: Who cares.  
Director: Come sit down. Hey! Get this man a beverage!  
IrrCapT: I'll just have some of this rum  
Seion: Hey! I was drinking that.  
  
Tenchi's Decision! Take twenty two!  
(Scene: A bright, sunshiny day at the Masaki House. The cliché sunrise music plays. Cuts to the  
kitchen, where Sasami is up and already cooking. Ryo-ohki happily munches a carrot.)  
Sasami: Ryo-ohki! Will you please stop humming that cliché sunrise music?!  
Tenchi: (from offscreen) Get out of my room, Ryoko!  
IrrCapT: Cliché plot sense tingling.  
Cavis: (sarcastically) Really? I wonder what tipped it off.  
IrrCapT: Okay, so it needs a little tweaking.  
Ryoko: (Enters following Tenchi) But Tenchi, I worry about you. Don't you really love me?  
Tenchi: I, um...ah...  
Ryoko: You want to get married and have seven kids, right?  
Cavis: If this is a real cliché fic plot, then Ayeka will come barging in, saying something along the  
lines of "Get away from him" followed by some needlessly nasty insult, like, oh, say "Demon-bitch-  
whore."  
Ayeka: (enters after Ryoko) Get away from him demon-bitch-whore!  
K'thardin: Okay, that's just creepy.  
IrrCapT: Well, next should be...(takes out the Tenchi cliché fanfic writing manual) Fighting will  
commence in five...four...three...two...one!  
Ryoko: Take this! (summons energy)  
Ayeka: Hiya! (summons logs The two attack eachother and blow up the house)  
Sasami: Well, breakfast is still on. Who wants flambé?  
Tenchi: I thought you were serving a misu soup?  
Sasami: (glares at Ryoko and Ayeka) I was.   
Mihoshi: (starts drooling)  
Davner: And cue the Kiyone rant!  
Kiyone: Mihoshi you are such a worthless blah blah blah, I want a premotion, blah blah blah, I hate you  
blah blah blah, wish you were dead, blah blah blah, yakkity smakkity.  
Cavis: And of course, Washu is still in her lab.  
Ayeka: Where's Washu?  
Tenchi: She's still in her lab.  
IrrCapT: Stop doing that!  
Sasami: She's been in her lab for the past three and a half months. Are you sure she's not dead.  
Ryoko: Well there was an explosion last week, but that could have been timed mines.  
IrrCapT: Well, they don't have Katsuhito attacking Tenchi every single moment he lets his guard down.  
Katsuhito: Hiya! (wacks Tenchi over the head with a bokken)  
Tenchi: Grandpa, do you have to attack me every single moment I let my guard down?  
Katsuhito: Well, if you were smart, you'd stop letting your guard down.  
IrrCapT: (Tosses the book) Nevermind.  
Cavis: Hey, where's Nobuyuki?  
Ryoko: Hey, where's Nobuyuki?  
IrrCapT: I told you to stop that!  
Cavis: I'm not planning it!  
Tenchi: I haven't seen him in (checks watch) A year and a half, tomorrow. I got something in the mail  
awhile ago about him. The entire thing was written in cut out magazine letters. Must be some kind of  
art thing.  
Ayeka: What did it say?  
Tenchi: Well, I didn't really read it. It said something about a hundred million dollars, so I figured  
magazine clippings? hundred million dollars? It's obvious what it is. One of those Instant winner  
sweepstakes that nobody really wins. I'd love to talk, but I have to go farm the fields for the next  
sixteen hours, to plant carrots.  
Ryo-ohki: Miya!  
Tenchi: (surly) You'd better be grateful, you little freeloader.  
Davner: Now we need a villian. Probably ressurected. KANE or Kagato.  
Cavis: Kagato.  
Kagato: Aha! I'm ressurected!  
IrrCapT: You do that again, I KILL YOU!  
Cavis: (points luger under IrrCapT's chin) With what?  
IrrCapT: My witty reparté?  
Cavis: No.  
IrrCapT: (mumbles) Just wait until I get another landing pod.  
Director: Anyway, the story!  
Tenchi: Kagato! You're ressurected!  
Kagato: I just said that!  
Ryoko: But how?  
Kagato and Cavis: An unimportant detail.  
IrrCapT: AhhH! (Jumps out a prop window, realizes he's still inside, and climbs back into his seat.)  
Director: Call props department, and keep the camera's rolling.  
Tenchi: Wait! Who are you?! (points to a shadow behind Kagato)  
Kagato: Yeah! I'm the villian here!  
Cavis: And now KANE.  
Shadow: Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu! Ryu so yen!  
Davner: That's Sen! Ryu so SEN!  
Shadow: (sweatdrops) Ryu so sen! *Slice Slash Swing* (kills Kagato)  
K'thardin: When did we get into batman.  
Davner: Hey! We'll do the MSTing here. Leave it to the pro's.  
Ryoko: Who are you?  
Tenchi: I just said that.  
Shadow: (Steps forward revealing a man dressed like Kenshin but caucasin with glasses and short black   
hair.) I am Hitokiri Otaku...I mean the Total Anime Nut.  
Tenchi: Well, thank you for *Slice* Ahh! My arm!  
tTAN: And I'm here to stop the insanity! ... well...not ALL insanity, just this particualr one...Yeah!  
*Slice slash swing* (kills al the others, leaving the ruined house covered in blood.)  
Ayeka: (who is still alive and unharmed) You killed them all!  
tTAN: Fear not, my lady. They are fine. I used a reverse edged Sakabatou.  
Davner: But Sakabatou translates to "Reversed Sword" so you used a reverse, reverse edged sword.   
Wouldn't that be a normal one?  
tTAN: Yeah, but it's sakabatou...but it's reversed...but so the blade is...um... (looks at his sword,  
with the blade on the outside.) Oops! Anyway, I'm here to take you away!  
Ayeka: I could never go with you after what you've done!  
tTAN: Alas, rejection. Will my violent past forever haunt my future?!  
IrrCapT: Your violent past was thirty seconds ago!  
Ayeka: It's not that! You're covered with blood! DO you have any idea how hard it is to get blood out  
of a silk kimono?!  
tTAN: ...Does anybody have a moist towelette?  
Davner: Only Nut*.  
Cavis: Hey, K'thardin? Isn't he YOUR employee?  
K'thardin: Well, he wasn't my first choice.  
tTAN: Hey! You want some of this?  
All crew: (Pull out their weapons. IrrCapT pulls out the entire collection of cliché fanfic writing  
manuals and hefts it menacingly) Sure.  
tTAN: But...swords beat guns, right?  
K'thardin: (takes aim with snipers rifle) Not a snipers rifle at one hundred paces.  
tTAN: Rats (Sheathes his sword and goes sits down.)  
Director: Cut! Hey! Put a towel down first!  
* Apologies to the Total Anime Nut. He's actually much worse. ^_^  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision! Take twenty three!  
(Scene: The Masaki living room. The TV is blaring, but Ayeka and Ryoko are even louder.)  
Ryoko: Yes she will!  
Ayeka: No she won't!  
Ryoko: Yes she will!  
Ayeka: No she won't!  
Tenchi: What are you two fighting about now?  
Ayeka: I say that Hanna, in "As the Tree Falls," will not marry Brad!  
Ryoko: And I say she will!  
Ayeka: And I say you suck!  
Ryoko: I don't like your attitude!  
Ayeka: And I don't like your face!  
Ryoko: You got a problem?!  
Ayeka: I'm looking at it!  
Ryoko: You want a piece of me?!  
Ayeka: Bring it on, biyatch!  
(The two power up with blinding aura's, Ryoko forms an enegy blade, and Ayeka summons her forcefields.  
Tenchi runs out of the room, no more than a mere blur)  
(Scene cut: Outside. A mushroom cloud engulfs the Masaki home. When it subsides, there is nothing left  
but a very large crater.)  
Noboyuki: (Walking up the stairs, lunchpail in hand) Hi guys! I'm ho-ly shit! My HOUSE!  
Ryoko and Ayeka: It's her fault!  
Noboyuki: I built this house to share with my beloved wife! (Noboyuki drops into a ninja fighting  
stance and throat jabs Ryoko. )  
Ryoko: *Gack!* (drops dead to the floor)  
Ayeka: Technically, the house you built to share with Achika was destr- *Gack!* (drops dead to the   
floor)  
Katsuhito: (enters from the shrine path) Noboyuki...Have you been using that ninja death blow technique   
for petty revenge?  
Noboyuki: Well, you see...um...(thoat jabs)  
Katsuhito: *Gack!* (drops dead to the floor)  
Tenchi: Dad! I can't believe you just-  
Noboyuki: You want some of this?!  
Tenchi: (Stands militant and salutes) No Sir!  
Audience: (blinks)  
Director: Um...cut?  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision! Take twenty four! Um, wait. I have some creative differences with the   
script.  
Director: Tough!  
(Scene: The Masaki house. Tenchi has gathered all the others around for an announcement.)  
Tenchi: I've given this a lot of thought, and I have finally made my *boom* What the hell was that?!  
(The group runs outside to see a man standing in a craetor. He is wearing a baggy jacket, baggy pants,  
and a baseball cap pulled over his eyes. He has several guns and a sword) Who the hell are you?  
Sam: I am Sam Impressive.  
Ryoko and Ayeka: Heart rate rising...  
Tenchi: Give me a break.  
Sam: I'm king of a dozen different planetary systems.  
Ryoko and Ayeka: Mouth drying...  
Tenchi: Shouldn't you be running them?  
Sam: I have armies of people to cater to my every whim  
Tenchi: I don't see any.  
Ryoko and Ayeka: I...I think I'm falling in love...  
Sam: Women everywhere are hopelessly attracted to me  
Tenchi: I can see where this is going.  
Ryoko and Ayeka: (both gulp in fear and take out cannisters of pepperspray) Must...mace...self!  
Sam: And I have the powers from every video game since pong. I can outpower more than twenty light   
hawk wings.  
Tenchi: (flips up his Winchester scattergun, aimed point blank at Sam's temple) Outpower this. *BLAM*  
Director: CUT!  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision! Take twenty five!  
(Scene: The living room. Everybody is watching TV, except Mihoshi, who is not present. Suddenly   
Washu's lab door blow out with a giant fireball.)  
Mihoshi: (slightly burned, stumbles out of the smoking portal.) Owie...  
Washu: What the hell did you do?!  
Mihoshi: (In a constant really stupid, airhead, Usagi voice) Well, I was trying to contact The   
intergalactic Hotline, so I pushed a lotta buttons and...  
Davner: Seion, shouldn't you be stopping this? (looks over to see Seion's seat is empty. He looks down  
to see Seion, writhing on the floor, frothing at the mouth.) Woah! This fic is so bad, it's caused  
Seion to go into seizures.  
Cavis: Cool!  
K'thardin: (smacks Cavis with the butt of his rifle)  
Cavis: Ow.  
Director: Shut up!  
Washu: You blew up my lab?!  
Mihoshi: Yeah, I guess so. But I did contact the hotline?!  
Kiyone: What'd they say?  
Mihoshi: Well, due to that small incident with the Juraian Ambassador's trip to Saturn...  
Kiyone: You blew up Saturn, while he was still on it! You single-handedly caused the biggest   
intergalactic war, since the Great Battle of Stardate 1502!  
Mihoshi: Well, anyway, they turned down our premotions again.  
Kiyone: What?!  
Mihoshi: Oh, and they demoted us to patrolmen for life. We're blacklisted by the Board.  
Kiyone: Die! (pulls out her yoyo, revealing a razor thin wire and begins to strangle Mihoshi with it.)  
Washu: Kiyone! Kiyone! Stop this at once!  
Kiyone: Why?  
Washu: SO I can help! (takes out a chainsaw and cuts Mihoshi in half.)  
Director: Cut!  
Cavis: Boy, Seion's gonna be pissed when he wakes up.  
IrrCapT: If he wakes up.  
tTAN: (charging a phibrilator) CLEAR!  
  
Stagehand: This, my humble audience is the twenty six take of the Shakesperean classic, Tenchi Muyo!  
Director: SHut up!  
Stagehand: Tenchi's decision! Take twenty six (to the director) You have no love for the arts!  
(scene: A field of flowers, Sasami is gently picking flowers to make a wreath for her hair.)  
Kaola Su: Hiho! Silver (charges past on her mechanical horse. Shinobu is on back with a Mac 10.)  
Shinobu: Die biyatch! (guns down Sasami.)  
Tenchi: (enters in baggier version of his clothes, which are also gang colors) I'm gonna get you sucka!  
(fires his shotgun at the fleeing horse.)  
Seta: (enters in his van) There he is! (the sliding door opens to reveal Keitaro and Naru, both with  
.38 Police Specials, loaded with cop killers.)  
Keitaro: You's goin' down! (fires on Tenchi)  
Naru: Bust a cap in his ass! (Fires on Tenchi)  
Tenchi: Argh! (Fires off another shot, and colapses dead on the ground.)  
K'thardin: Hold on!  
Director: Oh no!  
K'thardin: I have massive problems with this fic! And I'm gonna tell you all of them!  
Davner: Oh no! Uberrant*! Twelve o'clock!  
tTAN: but it's only 11:40  
IrrCapT: The hatred is burning my eyes!  
K'thardin: (goes Super saijin) First of all, Tenchi's clothes. blablabla...  
Cavis: Anyone up for coffee?  
Everybody except K'thardin and Stagehand: YES!  
(All leave. K'thardin continues to rant, even though his only audience is the stagehand.  
(time passes and eventually the cast and crew return with Starbucks coffee.)  
K'thardin: And that's what I'm going to do to you for killing Sasami. I mean, c'mon, what are we?   
Ranma writers?! I could find a better plot on Tatooine!  
Everyone else: Are you done yet.  
K'thardin: NO!...alright, now I am.  
Davner: Here's your frappichino.  
K'thardin: Thanks-hey! When did you get Starbucks?  
IrrCapT: While you were uberranting  
Cavis: IrrCapT! Be quiet!  
K'thardin: What? Now I have to start all over again.  
All: Noooo!  
Director: Cut! Cut!  
Stagehand: But I found his rant to be witty and informative.  
*Apologies to K'thardin. Who's rants actually are witty and informative. They're just a tad long.  
  
Stagehand: Tenchi's Decision. Take twenty seven!  
(Scene: The Masaki living room. Ayeka is sitting peacefully at the table, sipping a grande super moccha  
latte frappichino double whip no cream. Violins play bambi-esque music in the background. A dove lands  
gracefully on her hand. The rest of the cast walks into the room with sour expressions. Suddenly, the  
violinists switch to minor.)  
Ayeka: (Blinking innocently, as the sun's golden rays rap a warm halo around her head.) Tenchi? Why   
whatever is wrong?  
Tenchi: I just want you to know that you are a stupid bitch and I hate you.  
Ryoko: Yeah, why don't you just die.  
Washu: I've had failed lab experiments who are smarter than you. Not as ugly either!  
Kiyone: Yeah, you're dumber than Mihoshi.  
Mihoshi: Yeah, you're dumber than me! Hey!  
Nobuyuki: Even I wouldn't date you.  
Katsuhito: ANd you wonder why I left, you're such an unbearable bitchy, whiney, prick!  
Sasami: Yeah, I h.. I ha...I... (bursts into tears) Wah! I can't do this! I love you Ayeka! (hugs  
Ayeka)  
Tenchi: Gee, I feel really bad now.  
Ryoko: Yeah, sorry Ayeka.  
Director: You're supposed to do your lines.  
Entire cast and authors AND Stagehand (and probably a good number of you reading this at home: (Glare  
and draw weapons)  
Dircetor: (sweatdrops) Um, what I meant to say is...um... I feel bad too. Cut?  
Violinist: Are we still going to get payed for this?  
  
Stagehand: Coming to you Live, on Jurai Paperview, from the Masaki Arena, in downtown Karishika, it's  
Tenchi's Decision 2001. Now, ladies and gentlemen, otakus and...otakus! Let's get ready to FANFIIIIIC!  
Director: Ahem!  
Stagehand: Oh right. Take twenty eight!  
(Scene: Large wrestling arena, somehow fitted into the Masaki living room. Ayeka and Ryoko come in  
dressed up in WWF outfits. Kiyone enters in a tuxedo with a microphone.)  
Kiyone: And no for the noholds barred battle! The fight the century! Ryoko the People's Champion  
versus Stone Cold Ayeka. These two hardened warriors will  
Everybody but Ayeka, Ryoko, and the Director: CUT!  
Director: Hey! That's my line!  
Ryoko: Does this mean I don't get to bust a move?  
Tenchi: That's a dancing term.  
Ryoko: Oops! ^^;;;  
Ayeka: Sasami! Help me out of this dreadful outfit. The sooner the better!  
  
Stagehand: (badly dubbed) Look...Tenchi's Decision! Take...twenty nine!  
Director: You know Tenchi isn't badly dubbed.  
Stagehand: Oh...right.  
Tenchi: I love you Ryoko  
Ryoko: I love you Tenchi (the two kiss passionately and then proceed to have wild nookie, not noticing  
that Ayeka has seen them.)  
Ayeka: (deadpanned) Good-bye cruel world *blam* (Shoots herself in the head with her Desert Eagle)  
(Scene cut to the funeral. All are dressed in black.)  
Katsuhito: As we honor the passing of-Tenchi! Do you have to do that now!  
Tenchi (Who is making out with Ryoko) What?!  
Katsuhito: No funeral nookie!  
Tenchi: Nobody every told me that!  
Katsuhito: They shouldn't have to!  
Nobuyuki: Is it too late to pretend that he was lost as a child and raised by wolves, and not me.  
Washu: Ryoko, you realize that you should show some respect to the dead?! Especially since she was  
a close friend, and you're partially responsible for her death?! (Ryoko and Tenchi continue to kiss.)  
Hello? Are you listening to me?! Pay attention you little brat! (They continue to kiss) Damnit! (  
takes out a chainsaw) I gave you life and I can take it away. (Chainsaws the two of them in half)  
Nobuyuki: You just killed my son too!  
Washu: Is there a problem with that?  
Nobuyuki: No, just stating the obvious.  
Katsuhito: As we honor the passing of the Princess Ayeka, and give token notice of the passing of those   
two over there.  
Director: Cut!  
  
Stagehand: Like sand through a glass, so is Tenchi's Decision! Take thirty!  
Director: (stares oddly at Stagehand) You do realize that once this is done, your fired, right?  
Stagehand: I thought as much.  
(Scene: The Lac Luise at night. Tenchi and Ryoko are skinny dipping)  
Tenchi: God damnit it's cold.  
Ryoko: Yeah, let's go somewhere else. (They dress and leave.)  
Tenchi: I love what you've done with your hair!  
Ryoko: It's limp, and wet, and has seaweed in it.  
Tenchi: Never change it. I love you Ryoko!  
Ayeka: (offscreen) Aha! Infedel! You will pay for your trechary!  
Tenchi: Ayeka! Where did you come from!  
Ayeka: I've been spying on you because I'm an obsessive bitch! (turns to the director) You do realize  
I'm going to kill you for making me say that.  
Director: Take it out on the producer.  
Ayeka: I would except that he's anonymous.  
Director: For obvious reasons. Now back to the story.  
Ayeka: Okay! I shall destroy you, and the planet that spawned you, you treacharous bastard!  
Tenchi: How?  
Ayeka: Ultra-evil Thermal Nuclear planet destroying destructo meccha! Appear!  
Tenchi: WHere'd you get a planet destroying meccha?  
Ayeka and Davner: An unimportant detail.  
IrrCapT and tTAN: Not you too!  
IrrCapT:(to tTAN) Stop that!  
tTAN: Heheheh  
Ayeka: Now feel my wrath!  
Ryoko: Ayeka? Are you really willing to destroy the man you loved, your friends, and your sister and  
brother, and millions of innocent lives, just for petty revenge?  
Ayeka: Well, when you put it that way...YES! (pushes button and weapon of mass destruction fires)  
Ryoko: What shall we do Tenchi?!  
Tenchi: We can stop it...with...the POWER OF LOVE!  
Ryoko: Yes! (Tenchi and Ryoko hold hands and stare bravely at the meccha. Hearts appear above their  
heads. Roses behind them, and the air shimmers. The blast flies closer)  
Ryoko: ...um, nothings happening...  
Tenchi: I guess that, maybe, it's because love is just an emotion and not a source of power.  
Ryoko: Oh well. Too late now. (The blast hits shattering the entire earth.)  
Director: Cut! What the hell happened?!  
Cavis: Well, obviously NOT the power of love.  
Director: I really need to talk to special effects  
IrrCapT: Or a decent physicist.  
  
Stagehand: You will give me a part in this movie!  
Director: It's an OAV, and why should I?  
Stagehand: Because (opens his jacket revealing a chest bomb) I have a bomb!  
tTAN: Please set it off! For the love of God! Please set it off!  
K'thardin: (using the scope of his gun as a telescope.) That's not a bomb!  
IrrCapT: Those are Hotdogs!  
Davner: Armor Hotdogs!  
Cavis: What kind of man wears armor hotdogs?  
IrrCapT and tTAN: (whistle innocently)  
Director: Can we please get on with this.  
Stagehand: Fine! Tenchi's Desicion Take thirty-one!(sits down and sulks)  
(Scene: A mystic realm. Tenchi appears.)  
Tenchi: What's going on. Is this a dream (Tenchi sees the scene where he yells at Ryoko for ruining  
his mother's kimono.) Well, I do feel bad about that, but is it really enough to base an entire  
relationship on.  
Tsunami: (appears and pushes Tenchi back into a chair, which immediately ties him up. Eyedrops are  
applied to his eyes, which are forced open.)  
Tenchi: What are you doing?  
Tsunami: Just watch. (hypnotic music starts playing as Ryoko's more pretty scenes flash by.)  
Soothing Voice: You love Ryoko. You love Ryoko.  
(Scene cut: kitchen. Sasami is serving breakfast to Ayeka and the others. Tenchi is mysteriously  
absent.)  
Kiyone: Hey, where's Tenchi.  
Tenchi: (enters from the living room with his arms extended) (methodically) I love Ryoko.  
Ryoko: You do?! Oh Tenchi, we're going to be so happy, aren't we?  
Tenchi: I love Ryoko.  
Ryoko: Um, is something wrong?  
Tenchi: I love Ryoko.  
Ryoko: Eh, he's a bit of a fixer-upper, but I'll take 'em.  
Ayeka: (deadpanned) Oh, my heart! It has shattered into a thousand pieces.  
Ryoko: Oh, we're sorry it had to be this way. We really wish you well. Tenchi! Say something.  
Tenchi: I love Ryoko.  
Ryoko: Maybe I should do the talking.  
(enter a handsome and kind Juraian knight)  
Stewart: I am Stewart Immaculate!  
Ryoko: Hey, he looks nice. Go with him  
Ayeka: I love you Stewart!  
Stewart: Let's get married, right now!  
Tenchi: Excuse me.  
Stewart: Yes. (Turns to see Tenchi's scattergun aimed point blank at his nose)  
Tenchi: I'm sorry. You seem like a nice guy. But this is just a little too contrived for me. *Blam!*  
Ayeka: Tenchi! You shot the only man I ever loved!  
Tenchi: No, that's me, debatably. This is just a cheesy guy who showed up at just the right time! I'm  
not going to let you mess up the rest of your life, just because some guy caught you on the rebound.  
You can do better!  
Ayeka: You're right! I've been setting my sights to low. I deserve better than some cheesy loser.  
Tenchi: Right!  
Ayeka: Or a know-nothing farmboy like you!  
Tenchi: Ri-uh, gee, thanks. But seriously I- (Tsunami appears behind him and hits him on the head)  
(methodically) -love Ryoko  
Ryoko: Oh! Tenchi! I'm so glad your back to your old self!  
Ayeka: Old self?  
Ryoko: Now we can get married, right honey?  
Tenchi: I love Ryoko  
Ayeka: You do realize that if he can't say "I do." You can't get married.  
Tenchi: I love Ryoko.  
Ryoko: Damnit. And he was going to have such a beautiful wedding vow for me.  
Ayeka: Really? What?  
Ryoko: I love Ryoko. Short and sweet. Has a nice ring doesn't it.  
Ayeka: (voice over) Must...not...laugh...  
Director: Cut! Gee, Tenchi! You're playing the part of a mindless vegetable and you STILL can't get it  
right.  
Davner: Hahahahah! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. Your wedding is going to suck, except  
you can't have one! Hahahahahah!  
Ryoko: Grr! (blasts Davner into a wall)  
Davner: (In really stupid, airhead, Usagi voice) Oooh! Pretty Ayekas!  
Kiyone: Davner! Are you okay?!  
Davner: Whip me harder Ayeka!  
Cavis: He's fine.  
Davner: (wakes up, looking at Kiyone) Oh, Afura. I had the strangest dream. I escaped from the   
satelite, only to get trapped watching even worse fics. (points to Cavis) And you were there! (points  
to Ryoko) and you were there. (points to IrrCapT) And...you were there. (gulps and points to   
K'thardin) And you were there... (sighs and points to tTAN) and you were there. It wasn't a dream, was  
it?  
Seion: Nope!  
  
Stagehand: ...  
Director: Ahem!  
Stagehand: What?  
Director: You know very well what.  
Stagehand: Forget it! You crushed my simple dreams.  
Director: Fine, whatever. Let's just go.  
Announcer: In a world plagued by dark lords, and cruel gods, one woman stands up against the darkness.  
Ayeka: (Enters in leather armor. Sasami walks behind her dressed in simple clothes with a staff)  
Announcer: She is Ayeka! Warrior Princess! *blam* (annoncer falls down dead.)  
Katsuhito: (Enters from behind the announcer with a smoking Brown Bess Revolutionary War Musket,   
complete with bayonette.) You realize, that it will take centuries to remove the stain on Jurai's honor  
that you have created this day.  
Director: Look, I'm just-  
Katsuhito: (holds gun like a spear) Just because I've fired, doesn't mean I can't kill you.  
Director: As I was saying, Cut!   
  
Director: Come on. Just do it.  
Stagehand: No, not unless you give me a part. I wont accept anything less.  
Director: We'll pay you double.  
Stagehand: (suddenly enthusiastic) Tenchi's Decision! Take thirty three!  
(Scene: The Living room. Ryoko and Ayeka are watching soaps. A plate with one cookie on it rests  
in front of them.)  
Ayeka: (takes the cookie)  
Ryoko: Hey, that's my cookie!  
Ayeka: Is not!  
Ryoko: Is too!  
Ayeka: Is not!  
Ryoko: Is too!  
Ayeka: Is not!  
Ryoko: Is too!  
Ayeka: Is not!  
Ryoko: Is too!  
Ayeka: Is not!  
Ryoko: (Blows up Ayeka with an energy bolt)  
Tenchi: What just happened!  
Ryoko: (smiling) I killed Ayeka. Isnt' that great?!  
Tenchi: No.  
Ryoko: (blinks) It isn't?  
Tenchi: Well, while killing Ayeka might have seemed like a good idea at the time...to you...for SOME  
reason, have you stopped to consider the political and diplomatic retributions that would concur with  
such an action?  
Ryoko: Like what?  
Tenchi: Like all of us hating you and you being arrested by Juraian Guards. (As he speaks, Juraian  
Guards enter and place Ryoko in an inescapable bubble)  
Ryoko: Let me out! Tenchi! Will you wait for me?  
Tenchi: Gee, I'd love to, but I'm going out with Mihoshi for drinks in an hour.  
Ryoko: (as she's dragged out) At least write to me.  
Tenchi: Sure...(under his breath) I won't.  
Sasami: Hey! Who ate my cookie?!  
Director: Cut!  
Stagehand: Can I have a cookie?  
Director: No!  
  
Stagehand: (super enthusiastic) I realize that you are just one petty director. I CAN realize my   
dream. I WILL become a star, in spite of your efforts to put me down!  
Director: Fine, will you do your job?  
Stagehand: (serious) Do I still get paid double?  
Director: Yes! Whatever! Just do it!  
Stagehand: (super enthusiastic) Tenchi's Decision! Take thirty four!  
(Scene: Living room. Tenchi, Ryoko, and Sasami are present.)  
Ryoko: Tenchi, you must chose between Ayeka and myself.  
Tenchi: Okay...I...choose...you, Ryoko!  
Ryoko: Oh I'm so happy!  
Sasami: (sad) But why...Why not Ayeka?  
Tenchi: Well, to be totally, and by totally I mean, devastatingly, honest, because Ryoko has bigger  
breasts.  
Cavis: At least he admits it.  
Davner: (Repeatedly rams his head into a wall)  
Ayeka: (sings) Oh Tenchi! (Enters barely wearing one of Mihoshi's shirts. Her new bust threatens to  
rip free any moment.) Wow! That Isis program really works!  
Authors (save Davner): Holy Tsunami!  
Davner: Dayuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh (drools)  
tTAN: I'm going in! (gets up)  
K'thardin: (Grabs tTAN) Sit down!  
IrrCapT: Wet T-shirt contest! Wet T-shirt contest!  
Cavis: I'll agree to that.  
Tenchi: (to Ryoko) I think we should see other people.  
Director: Cut!  
  
  
Director: Alright, let's do the next one. (phone rings and the Director answers it.) Yes? What? Are  
you serious? You are. Alright. I'll tell them. (hangs up the phone) Guys, the show's been canceled.  
Crew: Yay!  
Tenchi: But what are they doing with my time slot?  
Director: It's being replaced with Akane Tendo's Anything Goes Aerobics  
Ryoko: Well, that's just great. Now where are we gonna get our rent money?  
IrrCapT: I know! You guys can work for me!  
Ayeka: Huh?  
IrrCapT: You guys can star in my life story "Irresponsible Captain T!" With Tenchi as Captain Taylor!  
Aeka as Yamamoto, Katsuhito a Lt. Kim, Mihoshi as Yurika Starr, Kiyone as Emi and Yumi, Ryoko as Dr.   
Kitaguchi, Nobiyuki as Lt. Keitori, Sasami as Princess Azaling, Washu as Nurse Harumi, Nobiyuki as   
Captain Andresen, Operative A as Sgt. Cryburn, Dr. Clay as Lt. Sakei, and D3 as Ru Baraba Dom!  
All: *Blink!*  
Katsuhito: I am NOT dressing up like a girl!  
Ryoko: Alright! I get to drink Sake!  
IrrCapT: Well, it'll be prop sake. Just water really.  
Ryoko: Oh...  
Kiyone: How am I supposed to play twins?  
IrrCapT: We'll use mirrors.  
Tenchi: (Whispers As they start to leave) This is the worst casting job I've ever heard.  
Sasami: What can we do? We need the money.  
Ayeka: Still beats Kajishima. 


End file.
